I've almost used up the whole box of Kleenex from blowing my nose so much.(not fun)
Within the last 48hours I have...
-Almost coughed up a lung.
-Had a fever.
-Almost threw up.
-Blew my nose so much it hurt.
-Coughed so much my stomach muscles hurt.
-Had a panick attack cause I thought I was going to die at one point.seriously,not joking at all.

And in the midst of all that I was praying that God would take it all away.When I knew he already had.He knew what little I was going through when he died on that cross.Thats not even half of what he took to the cross.Crazy.

My mom gave me Psalm 41:1-3 to look up and this is what it said:

Blessed is he who has regard for the weak;the LORD delivers him in times of trouble.
The LORD will protect him and preserve his life;
he will bless him in the land and not surrender him to the desire of his foes.
The LORD will sustain him on his sick bed and restore him from his bed of illness.

I really thought about that yesterday.Last night while I was sleeping God really did sustain me on my sick bed.He restored me from my illness.Even though its not near as much as probably what he's meaning in this scripture.He has restored me.And I thank him for it.I hate being sick.I hate going to the doctor and all that stuff that comes with it.But thank God that he is there in times of need and in times of trouble.When I am weak and restless,he gives me strength when needed.Even when it doesn't seem like much compared to others in this world.

On another subject I was thinking about crying today.
I've cried a lot in my lifetime.From the time I was born until now.
I've always wondered why we cry.Why did Jesus Weep?I'm reminded of the scripture in Ecclesiastes 3 where it talks about there is a time for everything.You should check it out sometime if you haven't read it much.
Let me tell you crying is not one of my favorite things to do on my agenda.Especially in front of people,but it always seems to happen.I think God likes it sometimes when we cry.I think it shows how strong we are.I also think it shows where we've been and how we can sympathize with others.Crying isn't always a bad thing and it's not always an easy thing either.Times I've cried:
-My best friend's wedding.
-A death in the family.
-I scraped myself up as a kid.
-A funeral for my friend's baby brother.
-Broke a bone.
-My niece.
-My nephews.
-With some close friends.
-The ocean was just so beautiful.
-Moving to a different school.
-Not wanting my grandmother to leave.
-My sister moved to Kentucky.
-A broken heart.
-Angry with my life.
-Confused about things.
-Not knowing where to go next.
-Being sick.
-When God moved on me in such a way.
-For others who have been through pain or knowing what they're going through.
-Holding a little 3yr old who has never had someone to love on before.(this gets me every time.)
-Being in a different country.

And the list could go on and on.All those things resemble good,bad and some of the hardest times I've been through.
I would say crying has made me strong in a lot of ways.Its not silly to cry.Although I used to think it was because someone told me once it wasn't good to cry in front of people.They said it showed how weak I was.Come to find out they were wrong and they knew it.Crying helps especially when you are trying to hold something in for a long time.There has been times where I have literally cried in front of my best friend out of the blue in the car.She wondered what was wrong and I just spilled it all out to her.I told her how tired I was and that I was just frustrated with myself.Whats great is God knew that I needed to talk to her about all that.She could relate to me in such a way because she's been through the same thing.So God knows the right time when you should cry.Don't hold back.If you do just think it might be worse if you hold it all in for a long time.Serious.So with that I'm thankful that I can cry.Even if I don't want to at times.Especially in front of others.But one day soon Jesus will wipe away every tear from our eyes.Its amazing,crazy and blows my mind just thinking about it.Every time I think about that I always think back to the dream I had of heaven when Jesus wiped away my tears as I hugged him.How crazy like gravy is that?!?!I'll have to tell you about my dream sometime if you haven't heard it already.
Hope everyone is well out there.
Much love!!!!

Here lately I've been really thinking about my family.I don't see them much and hardly spend time with them.I hardly spend time with my own parents because we're always so busy.
Last weekend I went to see some family in South Carolina for a family reunion.Never in my life have I seen my dad's family..all his aunts,uncles and cousins.It was good to meet people but extremely nerve racking at the same time.I always get nervous when I meet people I haven't met before.Especially family for some reason.I got to really spend some time with my great aunts for about an hour or two.My great aunt Shirley was glad that I finally got to come to South Carolina and see her.She told me next time I'd have to come spend the whole week with in her six bedroom house with her and her little dog.I told her I would love to.I found out that my great aunt Alma is a preacher.She preaches at the fellowship we had our reunion at.My great uncle,Alma's husband plays the guitar there.And sometimes my great aunt Ruth and Shirley come and sing.My great aunt Nel was there also and sweet as ever.Me and her got pretty close when my grandmother died.It seemed hard for us both.But it was good to be in her company as well.Going to see my family was so good.I needed it.I needed comfort from other people than just my parents or my friends.I needed comfort from people(whom I hardly see) to talk to,listen and not worry about things.I felt at peace.I felt like I could laugh again and I didn't have a care in the world at that moment.It was great.God really opened my eyes to see my family and where we come from.I hope I never lose sight of that or those I've come in contact with.Spending time with them makes me cherish life even more.It makes me wish I had more time to spend with them just to talk to about anything and everything.So take a look at your family and where you come from.Don't ever take them for granted.Cherish those little moments with them even if its not the most fun thing in the world.You'll look back on it and realize how important it was.And you will be thankful that God had placed those moments in your life with those people.Life comes and goes,but God stays the same.

Here are some pictures of the Reunion:
 
My other home.

My great aunts talking to the day with the poofy hair.I don't know her name.

I thought this was rather funny for some reason.It says "The McDougald Funeral Home".

Left to Right:Shirley,Me,Alma,Nel and the one sitting,Ruth.
Its funny when you get these crazy ladies together.They are great in my book.

My dads brothers and sister with me and my great aunts.

A few of my little cousins also.

My dad,Alma and Uncle Reece.
 
She looks almost just like my Nanny did.And we are both the babies of the family.=]
I love her much!!! 

The last Christmas I had with my grandmother.Man,I miss her.

Thats it for now.Oh!And later I'll post some pictures up of my nephews soccer game.
Be blessed and have a great day.

Its so hard to try to live out your life as a testimony for others to see.I hate it.I just want those to see and know that I care for them and how much more God cares for them also.There is a friend of mine who I'm afraid isn't living the way he should.He says he loves God more than anything.For some reason thats hard to tell with some of the things he's told me or I've seen.It hurts me so much.I don't know what to do.Actually I know perfectly what I should do.I want to confront him and ask him if he truly does love God more than anything.Just like he said.I want to ask him what is he doing then with his life.Is he living out as a living testimony for Christ?Or is he just saying things.I haven't known him for to long,but I feel really burdened for him.I want whats best for him and really everyone.I know we all have made mistakes and none of us are perfect.But I just want to help him out and let God use me in such a way.I want him to see Christ through me and in me.I want that to be lived out in all that I do and say.I'm struggling with this and I just need God to hold me up.Please if any of you are reading this,just pray for me.I really want to help him out.I just feel so burdened for him and a whole bunch of other people.Anywho,thats all I have to say for now.